Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.

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Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.

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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

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Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

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Life is improvisation.

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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

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