Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

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Life is improvisation.

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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.

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Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

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You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

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Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

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