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More Quotes by Tina Fey
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
Life is improvisation.
Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.