You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

---

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

---

Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.

---

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

---

Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

---

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

---

Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

---

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

---

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

---

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

---