Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

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After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

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What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity

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It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! — Audrey Hepburn

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I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire. ― Ilona Andrews

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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

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