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If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. — Mark Twain
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
