#Quote
More Quotes by Stephen Colbert
This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.
If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
