#Quote
More Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.
Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
