#Quote
More Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.
Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.
I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.
I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.