#Quote
More Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.
I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
