The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

---

Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

---

Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

---

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

---

There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

---

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

---

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

---

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

---

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

---

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

---