You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends

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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

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If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

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