More Quotes by Mark Twain
Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
