Quotes

Total 17737 Quotes
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Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
― Kin Hubbard
Funny
Change
Communication
Kin Hubbard
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Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
― Kin Hubbard
Funny
Christmas
Xmas
Kin Hubbard
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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
― Kin Hubbard
Funny
Sarcastic
Sarcasm
Kin Hubbard
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Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
― Kin Hubbard
Funny
Business
Looks
Kin Hubbard
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It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
― Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
Funny
Sports
Jobs
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I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.
― Katy Perry
Funny
Dumb
Amy
Katy Perry
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You know you're living right when you wake up, brush your hair - and confetti falls out!
― Katy Perry
Funny
Fall
Hair
Katy Perry
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Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
― Og Mandino
Og Mandino
Funny
Smile
Listening
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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Birthday
Friday
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Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
DentalWork
Teeth
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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Humor
Men
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Happiness
Happy
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If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Money
Crazy
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Drinking
Beer
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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Age
Ends
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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Men
Smoking
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Sarcasm
People
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Dog
Illiteracy
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I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Sex
Women
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Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece.
― Vladimir Nabokov
Vladimir Nabokov
Inspirational
Funny
Life