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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
God
Hope
Bill Cosby
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
FathersDay
Dad
Bill Cosby
Old is always fifteen years from now.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Birthday
Humor
Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Mom
Children
Bill Cosby
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Father
Humor
Bill Cosby
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Humor
Civilization
Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
FathersDay
Dad
Bill Cosby
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Motivational
Family
Bill Cosby
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Humor
Law
Bill Cosby
Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Motivational
Health
Bill Cosby
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Life
Wise
Bill Cosby
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Children
Humor
Bill Cosby
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Beautiful
Hair
Bill Cosby
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Uplifting
MemorialDay
Bill Cosby
I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Humor
Race
Bill Cosby
After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
God
Humorous
Bill Cosby
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Humor
Trouble
Bill Cosby
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Dog
Humorous
Bill Cosby
The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
Relationship
Marriage
Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
― Bill Cosby
Funny
FathersDay
Children
Bill Cosby
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